Another birthday

Boston birthdays sucked. So I’ve stacked my Europe birthdays. Last year, I welcomed 30 with one of my best friends, in Hungary, on an absolutely spectacular and memorable trip. This year, I had the privilege of hosting 4 young friends from Cleveland in Europe. I arranged our trip to be sure to be in Lux on my birthday, and had a few friends join for dinner. I stood in the living room after the birthday dinner, hugging my one friend here. We were discussing my visiting friends, and is often the case when we find ourselves side-hugging at an event, debriefing the event. It was a moment of immense gratitude for me. For Jack bringing me flowers, and he and Ben carrying a table quite a distance up a hill for dinner. For Stasi doing my make-up. For N bringing a cake and candles, and the most darling earrings. For A bringing a lovely bracelet and a ring I’m simply in love with. For the Ws gifting me a thoughtful game that I’ve been looking to purchase for myself. For G having put my birthday in his calendar months ago, and taking the occasion to give me a rare hug. In just over a year, I had six incredible (local) humans at my birthday dinner, with two more out of the country hence their absence. The next morning found C calling my name as I left the house, as she brought over a box of Legos for me. The gifts were secondary, but the knowledge of having these humans in my life is so comforting. The next morning also included a large bouquet from my brother Joe, who rarely misses an occasion to deliver flowers.

But the surprising and at times somewhat sad thing is who remembered my birthday. I received a gorgeous box of the nicest chocolates in Luxembourg from my boss. A dear friend from Denver sent a present, and I had texts from friends in Boston and Cleveland. But I also opened my teams to see messages from our company hotel manager and my former students, and an email from the banquets manager at the hotel. Work brought a small bag, with more thoughtful little earrings from a colleague. It’s hard to call some of my community colleagues, because they are friends, and work is seemingly the secondary benefit. And while I'm mentioning a lot of gifts, that's not the only mark of love- I so appreciated the thoughtful messages and sentiments shared, showing that someone actually remembered. 

It made me feel so loved, but also really sad that the people I had thought would be my life and involved in my life were not. But that’s a lot of my life right now. Looking absolutely nothing like I had imagine or even hoped it would look like. And sometimes I do need to take the time to grieve that life and version of Jen. But here’s to a new year of life. Celebrated with people from my hometown and my current home, knowing two completely different versions of Jen, but all loving me nonetheless.