A week of people

Thirty minutes from my train connection, where I have unexpectedly been invited to join colleagues in a car for the rest of the way home. 

Not enough time to open my laptop again, but enough to reflect. 

Mostly on yesterday. The kind hugs and bright faces. The many photo bombs in an eager attempt to get a picture with Jen. The invitations to dance and to sit at dinner with. The texts about grabbing a drink. And the night ending with a warm and comforting hug that somehow eased all the burdens of a long week. 

This was my first time in the major spotlight of Europe, and I had all of 6 minutes in that light. I had to present on the two biggest projects that take up 90% of my time, to all of our Paris Operations, which includes Switzerland, Spain, Italy and of course France. This was the first time some of the higher-ups would ever hear me speak either. I was sharing the segment with two directors of research areas, and I wasn’t sure if they were thrilled to share the stage with me. 

But I was thrilled to see my engineers. Many who I hadn’t seen in years- I counted on them to be thriving and flourishing. And I wasn’t disappointed. 

It started in Brussels, actually, where I took a train Monday. The night, an engineer from the very last class I taught met me for dinner. His face was earnest as he told me his plans for a career path forward, the goals he was working on, and what he found challenging in his daily work. He was mesmerized when I described my role, and eagerly listened as I explained principles in my department that I’m more recently becoming comfortable with, and he complimented me on explaining things well. 

Wednesday afternoon I arrived at the convention center and began working. I had been invited by T to come to the Paris office, but it was too far from the meeting space, and I already had my tickets booked. Instead, I messaged B who was part of the committee planning the beginning of the year meetings, as I knew she’d be there. On a whim, I also messaged R to see if he’d be in town, and to my surprise he was also arriving that night. He promised to meet me for a drink when he arrived. 

At his message, I met him in the comfortable bar. He was there, dressed as always, in a suit. The last time we had been together, I had realized he was someone I trusted to make beneficial decisions for me, so I was happy for him to order me drinks over the course of three days. It was the easy, familiar yet intentional conversation I always appreciate with him. He had come prepared it seemed with questions about my transition to Europe, especially as I reach the one-year mark. Many of my colleagues who know me better, were worried that I wouldn’t find enough community in a new country, and I am happy to allay their fears. Others joined us, but as I preferred a quite dinner, we left for our reservation as soon as B and F arrived. Dinner was delightful. F had found a report that I wrote for the company, early on in my career! B was also in my last class, and it was a beautiful time together. 

After dinner found us back at the bar, meeting with a few from my office, as well as some of the organizing people. As the French swirled around me, R took care to make sure I had an easy English conversation. At one point, I looked around the circle, seeing the people who I taught, many I’ve grown to know well, and many who care for me chatting away and it filled my heart with so much happiness. The night ended with two of my office peeps and I finally at 2AM, but it was a lovely bit of solitude as we shared a moment before the meetings ahead. 

Thursday morning dawned, and with it breakfast. I had come to the meeting strategically having a list of people I needed answers from, and breakfast proved quite fruitful in crossing two off the list. I had to attend the dry-run and sat in the large empty convention hall. T walked on stage, dressed in his well-cut suit, and a headset near his mouth. He shared an opening speech and inspiring challenge. Tears started pouring down my face- I remembered T’s class like yesterday. How hard it was to understand his English, and how embarrassed I was to ask him to repeat yet again. Later in the meetings, we would remember how we both would smile and nod at the other, neither understanding a word that was said. I remember his anger when he got unfairly judged in a capstone activity, due to a number of cultural factors. I knew his English had improved, and I was proud of him for a recent promotion to a role he worked very hard for, but nothing could prepare me to hear him own the stage and issue his directive. I know I’ve written many times about those moments that make all the long evenings worth it, but this one may possibly have been the best. 

The meeting began after lunch, but I ran out of time to join R and company to go out for lunch, but they promised an iced coffee on their return. They snuck in just as the meeting started, with a beautiful iced Americano from Starbucks, the fuel I needed for the afternoon. I was a ball of nerves, punctuated with shaking legs, aching back, and a persistent bladder. At the break, it was incredible to meet so many of my students all very surprised to see me as I hadn’t announced my attendance. Many hugs and smiles, and pictures of new children and updates ensued, and my heart swelled to hear it all. I saw B ready to host her portion of the meetings, looking dapper in a bright suit. Finally it was my turn, and with shaking legs up we went. My two co-presenters went first, so I had a moment to scan the audience from the stage. I saw R on his phone (later learned he responded to all the teams messages I sent him). I picked out my Academy group mate, students from all the different countries, and smiled at T. Finally, it was over, and I stood to exit the stage. T came on stage and added his thanks to our trio, then added an extra line thanking me and mentioning how I trained him. He had done the same in rehearsal, but I assumed that was just for the rehearsal and was not expecting it in the real presentation as well. B added her echo of thanks, and the applause that followed was a kind memory of the engineers I’ve trained. 

The evening followed with food and drinks and laughter and friends. My dinner table had Italians, Spanish, French, and one of two other Americans in attendance. I watched my students happily get a picture with the CEO, and share their desserts and laughs. I met new people and danced with old friends. A few of us asked the DJ for a birthday song to celebrate a Spanish woman and my students photo bombed pictures I was taking with small clusters of friends all night. R was kind enough to spend time speaking with me when I was too tired to keep dancing and it was nice to do my people watching. I knew the reputations of some people, and as the night waned on it made more sense. 

Friday morning brought another proud moment, as I saw V MC the engineering meetings with poise and confidence. He was not one who struggled, but to see him speaking with polish in front of our CEO and other senior leaders was magnificent. R and I dipped out a bit early to catch our trains, and had one final conversation on the way. He has always been able to read me well, and made a comment on how I like control and to take care of things and can become stressed out from that, but that also since I didn’t have anything to take care of in this meeting I was more relaxed. It struck me today, that few people see me and take care of me. He is one of them. He sees me stress, and supports me. He is happy to take away the need for me to plan things or make decisions and do them for me. I always feel comfortable following his lead. Timings for breakfast, where to sit, what to drink, how to get to the train station- he navigated it all allowing me an opportunity to actually just relax. 

I’m grateful for dear colleagues who allow me the opportunity to just show-up and not carry any expectations. This week restored my soul through my engineers in southern Europe, and their love and kindness was a wonderful start to the year ahead.