Moody mornings

I am a planner. I have to be here with weird bus schedules and meetings and no car. But these plans keep getting thwarted. Last week, all the early morning plans I made and kept to switch my license, only to not get it. 

This week... two early morning French classes before meeting my grandparents meant I only had one day to pick up all my birthday packages. Two were from the post office, and one is UPS. I'm grateful for the thought of the senders, but the customs meant I had to go pay and pick them up. Though to be honest, sometimes I have to pick up Amazon from here as well. I had a 9AM meeting, so accounting for transit I got up early and made it there by 8AM when they open. Everything was smooth until I needed to pay. The card reader didn't accept any of my four different cards, despite having been accepted at this location in the past. We tried splitting the amount as sometimes you can't pay over 50€ in a single transaction, but it still wouldn't work. The lady helpfully told me to walk to the atm 10 minutes away to retrieve cash. At this point, it was almost 830 and I knew I'd have to run to make my 9AM so I just left. She said they would hold it for two weeks, but only after I left did I realize she gave me the original pickup slips, which are already a few days old, further narrowing the window to redo the entire exercise of getting up early, navigating extra time to carry packages and still be able to work. 

I'm walking to work now, considering I'll not only have to go back here and literally wasted an hour of my day, but will also have to make time to find the UPS store and go during work hours. Also I need to figure out how to dispose of the giant cardboard boxes for my dining tables and chairs. I'm not in town on the one day that I can put cardboard out, but I'm also not sure if they will accept it. 

To add to my perfect morning, I just missed the tram as I was waiting to cross. The tram I did take resulted in me descending as I watched my bus pull away. I'm walking through the park now, still feeling overwhelmed at the laundry list of activities. 

Would my problems be solved with a car? Perhaps. But time wise, finding and paying for parking in a capital city do not promise to save too much time for me. Then there is the financial consideration. The entire weight of that purchase rests on me. There are car rental and sharing options, but that goes back to the license so here we stand. 

I think the early mornings make the disappointment harder to bear. The feelings of helplessness. The anger over complacence. The exhaustion borne alone. 

Yes I jetset to cool places, but the right turn around leave little room for fun. The reality is some days it is extremely hard to continue plugging on by myself. Few to support me tangibly. 

My only consolation. It's not raining. Yet.